SUNNAT-E-NIKAAH And AADAAB-E-ZEFAAF

For the encouragement, inducement and interest of marriage among mumineen, Allah Ta'ala mentions in the Qur'an:

“And of His signs is that He has created of yourselves, spouses for you that you might rest in them and He has set love and mercy between you. Surely in that are signs for a people who consider.”

“And Allah Ta'ala is He Who has created man from water, and has appointed for him kindred by blood (has appointed ancestors for him) and kindred by marriage (has appointed in laws for him); for Allah is the most Powerful.”

“Marry the spouseless among you, and your slaves and handmaidens who are virtuous; if they are poor, Allah will enrich them with His bounty; Allah is All-embracing, All-knowing. And let those who find not the means to marry be abstinent till Allah enriches them with His bounty.”

Imaam Ja'far us-Saadiq (AS), his fathers and his ancestors said: Rasulullah (SAWS) said that, ‘He who desires to meet Allah Ta'ala in a state of piousness and purity should marry and make his spouse and lead a virtuous life with his wife.'

Rasulullah (SAWS) further said: ‘He who wishes to follow my character, should abide to my practices (sunnat), and marriage is one of my sunnat. He also said that, ‘When a man marries in his manhood, the shaitaan (satan), cries out repeatedly and yells that, “This man has protected two-thirds of his religion from me”, and let him fear Allah in his remaining third of life by doing good deeds.'

Maulana Ali (AS) said: Whenever any of the associates of Rasulullah (SAWS) married, he used to say, “Kamola deenohu” meaning his faith ( imaan ) has been perfected, completed.

Maulana Ali (AS) has narrated an incident and said: Once Usmaan bin Maz'oon came to Rasulullah (SAWS) and said, ‘O Rasulullah (SAWS), I am beset by the pleasurable thoughts, but I will not take any action without seeking direction from you first.' Rasulullah (SAWS) said, ‘And what is it that your soul urges you, O Usmaan?' He said, ‘I am thinking of severing marital relations with my wife Khawla.' Rasulullah (SAWS) said, ‘Do not do so, O Usmaan.' Verily, when a faithful one takes his wife by his hands, Allah records ten good deeds to his credit and erases ten misdeeds; and if he kisses her, Allah gives him credit for one hundred good deeds and erases his one hundred misdeeds; and when he performs intercourse with her, Allah gives him credit of one thousand good deeds and erases a thousand misdeeds and angels visits the couple. And when that couple takes the ritual bath (ghusl) of Janaabat , for every drop of water that fall from their hairs, Allah records one good deed for them and erases their one misdeed. If the couple takes the ghusl in a cold night, Allah tells His angels, ‘Observe this couple, they are taking ghusl in a cold night, having knowledge that I am their Lord. I bear witness that I have pardoned their sins', and if conception occurs that night, then their child will become tranquility for their mind and coolness of their eyes and will be obedient to them in the Paradise .' Then Rasulullah (SAWS) placed his hand on the chest of Usmaan and said, ‘O Usmaan, do not turn away from my sunnat; verily he who will turn his face away from my sunnat will be met by angels on the Day of Qayaamat who will turn his face away from my Pond (Hauz-e-Kausar and Aab-e-Salsabeel).

Rasulullah (SAWS) has said: “When a faithful man approaches his faithful wife for the intercourse, two angels will enclose him, and then he is like one who draws his sword for the cause of Allah. And when he is free from her after the intercourse, his sins are shed, just as the leaves fall from a tree in autumn; and when he performs ghusl, he is altogether separated from all sins.” He also said that, ‘As the faith of man in Allah increases, love for his wife increases equally.' He said that Allah has conferred three unique favors to His prophets, which are their practices (sunnat) and to act accordingly is meritorious, 1: ‘Itr (attar; to apply attar), 2: Sewaak (tooth-stick; to do miswaak, cleaning the teeth), 3: Zewaaj (wife; to marry).

Rasulullah (SAWS) has said: “Lead your brides to their new home (home of their bridegrooms) at night for zefaaf (the first night after marriage), and give a feast (lunch) on the day of marriage.” He also said that you should not remain awake at night except for three purposes: Reading the Qur'an or offering the namaaz; seeking knowledge; and leading the bride to her new home for zefaaf. He said, ‘Let a man prepare himself to go to his wife as he desires her to prepare herself for him.' This he referred to the cleanliness of both the partners.

Rasulullah (SAWS) said: “When a wife is brought to her husband after the marriage, let him pray two rak'ats of prayer and place his hand on her forehead and recite the following verses:

“O Allah, Make my wife auspicious for me, and make me auspicious for her. As you have united us, unite us in kindness, success, and blessing, and when you separate us, separate us in fairness.”

After reciting the above verses, he should say the following;

“O Allah, all praise to Allah Who has guided me rightly when I was on the wrong path; Who has brought to riches from poverty; has given me fame from my common position; has given honour to me in my dishonored condition; given protection to my family; coupled my celibacy with marital life; given servant for my service; has made my loneliness entertaining; and removed my wickedness (removed my nine difficulties and given me nine comforts). O Allah, I thank you liberally, kindly invoking Your blessing for what You have given me and for what You have deemed to be my portion to honour me.”

Imaam Ja'far us-Saadiq (AS) said, “When a man wishes to have sexual intercourse with his wife, let him take the name of Allah, and pray to Him to the best of his ability”. He also directed that, “When she comes to you, tell her relatives that she should be ritually pure, and you too should be in the same condition. Then do not do intercourse until you have prayed two rak'ats, and instruct her to do the same. Then praise Allah, send blessings to Rasulullah (SAWS), and supplicate, and at the end ask her to say ‘ameen'. The bridegroom should say:

“O Allah. If you have decreed a successor to follow me, then let him be sincere to You in Imaan and do not give shaitaan any share, or interest, or portion; more or less in him; and make my child clean and pure (pious); and do not create in him any deficiency or superfluity and make his end happy.”

DISCIPLINE OF SEXUAL INTERCOURSE

1. A man should not hurry in performing the sexual intercourse. He should proceed slowly and indulge in the foreplay to satisfy his partner fully before reaching to orgasm.

2. Hazrat Ali (AS) disapproved that a man should have sexual intercourse while facing the Qibla.

3. During sexual congress, if a man finds that he is about to ejaculate, he should not withdraw himself and allow the semen to fall outside. Rasulullah (SAWS) said that such an act is a kind of secret burying of a child at its birth.

4. You should not indulge in sex when an infant is awake in the cradle.

5. Looking at a couple having sexual intercourse leads to blindness.

6. You should not converse during sexual union; verily, this is the cause of dumbness.

7. Sexual intercourse is disapproved from the early dawn to the rising of the sun; from the setting of the sun to the end of the twilight.

8. You should refrain from sexual congress during the night when there is lunar eclipse; during the day when there is solar eclipse; during the day or the night when an earthquake takes place; during the times of cyclone, floods or any natural calamity. Imaam Mohammad ul-Baaqir (AS) said, ‘When a believer refrains from doing intercourse during these periods, he will be blessed with children who will make him happy.'

9. You should not indulge in sodomy (anal intercourse) with a wife.

10. You should not have sexual union on the first, fifteenth, and twenty seventh night of every month; if conception occurs in these nights, the child will be weak mentally as well as physically.

11. You should not share the same towel with your partner after taking ghusl .

12. You should not have sexual union on the night of Eid ul-Azha; if conception takes place on this night, the child will be bearing six fingers.

13. Abstain from having sexual intercourse on Wednesday night, if conception occurs in it, the child will be tyrant and its helper.

14. Keep yourself away from the sexual activity on Sunday night, if conception occurs, the child will be fool and stupid.

15. Do not indulge in sexual activity at the time of Azaan, if conception occurs at this time then the child will create unrest and conflict among the believers.

16. Do not have sexual intercourse while your wife is menstruating, if she conceives during this time, the child will be of bad character and ill disposition and unfaithful to Allah's commandments, disloyal to Ahl-e-Bayt-e-Rasool (SAWS).

17. It is highly recommendable to have sexual union on Monday night. If conception occurs, the child will be noble and obedient.

18. On doing sexual union on Tuesday night, the child thus conceived will be chaste, generous and pure hearted.

19. It is rather good to have sexual intercourse on Thursday night. If conception occurs, the child will be learned and wise.

20. It is best to have sexual union on Friday night, if conception takes place, the child will be pious and virtuous.

Before doing sexual intercourse you should make yourself pure by performing wuzu and then pray two rak'ats namaaz in which you should recite Al-hamdo (Surat ul-Faateha) with Inna anzalnaaho (Surat ul-Qadr) in the first rak'at and Al-hamdo with Wat-teene waz-Zaitune (Surat ut-Teen) in the second rak'at. If you don't know these surats by heart then recite Surat un-Naas or Surat ul-Falaq with Surat ul-Faateha. After performing namaaz you should recite the above mentioned du'a and pray Allah Ta'aala to bestow His blessings in form of pious children.

Below is the niyyat of this namaaz :

“Usalli salaata talabil waladil kareeme rak'ataine shukran lillaahe azza wa jalla adaa'an mustaqbelal ka'batil haraame Allaho akbar”

May Allah Ta'aala bless every ‘Alavi bridegroom with a chaste, pious and pure bride, and their children take the respect and esteem of ‘Alavi community to new heights. May every mumineen have their hearts inculcated with Walaayat and Ulfat of Saheb-e-Da'wat without which one cannot attain the ultimate and permanent abode in the Hereafter.

Reference source : http://alavibohra.org/NIKAAH.htm