For a Better Future

For a Better Future

Title About the Author Dedication I Begin Here PART I. What The Youth Need Question n. 1 What qualities a good Muslim youth should have to be successful? Question n. 2 How can I make use of my age and youth? Question n. 3 How do I ask forgiveness for my sins? Question n. 4 How should I deal with having a friend who I care about but who has bad behavior? Question n. 5 How do I get rid of the habit of lying? Question n. 6 Because of my illness I get distressed very easily. How can I be happy with my life? Question n. 7 How do I reform my elder brother who commits majorsins? Question n. 8 How can I smile when I do not feel happy or delighted inside myself? Question n. 9 How do I lead an active life? Question n. 10 As a young man how do I achieve success to attain happiness? Question n. 11 How do I cure my nightmares? Question n. 12 How do I get my students to refrain from wearing unIslamic fashion & clothing? Question n. 13 What field should I specialize in at the university in order to be useful for society? Question n. 14 How do I cure myself from being mean? Question n. 15 How do I bear the difficulties of life? Question n. 16 How do I practice patience and control my anger? Question n. 17 How can I become skilled by continuing higher studies, when my father asks me to work with him? Question n. 18 I am a confused young man, as I do not know my aim in life. Please help. Question n. 19 How can we properly address the issue of illegal and harmful drugs? Question n. 20 How can I help my father to be less materialistic? Question n. 21 How does one make the best use of the time during one’s youth? Question n. 22 How can I deal with family gatherings that include namahram relatives not observing hijab? Question n. 23 How shall I deal with low self-esteem? Question n. 24 How shall I help a friend who has psychological problems and suffers absentmindedness? Question n. 25 How to defeat laziness Question n. 26 How can I conquer my anger and stress? Question n. 27 What should we do if our parents argue often? Question n. 28 How can I get over issues of an unhappy childhood that involved abuse and divorce of my parents? Question n. 29 How can I help a family member to be rightly guided? Question n. 30 As a young girl, how do I avoid the mistakes in marital, family, and social relations? Question n. 31 How do I help someone who values secular studies but not religion? Question n. 32 How do I make myself to be content? Question n. 33 How do I properly deal with losing my temper so that I neither abuse others nor make myself ill from swallowing my anger? Question n. 34 How may we help someone who suffered a psychological trauma that caused him to withdraw? Question n. 35 How can I abandon sins that are habitual for me, mend family relationships, and guide against fanaticism? Question n. 36 After many hardships in life, I suffer from psychological problems and have thought of suicide at times.  How can I get help? Question n. 37 How can a young person suppress lust and the sins that come from it? Question n. 38 How should we begin relationships with women and satisfy needs in the process of finding a spouse? Question n. 39 What Islam says about masturbation? Question n. 40 What is the solution for young people wanting to get married and avoid sin today in light of pressures to finish studies, get settled in jobs and pay very high costs for dowries and weddings? Question n. 41 Is it lawful for a young unmarried couple thinking of marriage to exchange feelings by phone and letters and to spend time together in public places like parks if no touching is involved? Question n. 42 I want to know what I should do to begin the process for marriage properly and avoid lustful sin while yet at a young age. Question n. 43 I cannot afford to get married, so please advise me on what to do to avoid lustful sins in a way that is actually practical and effective. Question n. 44 How can a young woman trying to be modest and religious properly handle temptations to sin like those often encountered at university? Question n. 45 Two young people had relations before marriage, regret their sins, yet still want to marry even though it would be against the wishes of their families if they knew the truth about their relationship. Question n. 46 How should we reconcile the practical realities of being unable to marry early as Islam recommends but yet facing the challenges of sexual lust while unmarried? Question n. 47 What is your advice about a young man who seduces women and deceives them then abandons them after getting what he wants? Question n. 48 I want to get married, but I want you to advise me. How should I move to a life that I have not known before? Question n. 49 How can I make reason defeat lust and avoid opportunities and temptations for sinning? Question n. 50 A brother of mine ended up in a bad marriage.  This has made me afraid of marriage.  How can I overcome this fear and also avoid his fate? Question n. 51 How do I talk to a friend about a bad quality and still keep his friendship?  Question n. 52 What do you have to say about modern girls being more sexually aggressive even outside of marriage? Question n. 53 How can modern young women acquire and maintain good moral traits? Question n. 54 What is the solution to stop quarrels and disrespect amongst siblings? Question n. 55 How can I save myself from worry, distraction, absent-mindedness, and forgetfulness? Question n. 56 My father is always angry with us at home, but he is very good with others elsewhere. How do you explain this duality? Question n. 57 How should we address someone who is sharply critical of everyone? Question n. 58 How can we address the modern epidemic of depression? Question n. 59 Can faith be spread today in spite of the inundation of temptations? Question n. 60 My mother has behaviors which lead to quarrels in her marriage that affect the whole family.  What can we do? Question n. 61 How can religious youth protect their faith? Question n. 62 Why do people suffer and die from things like cancer?  How can we handle the suffering and loss of a loved one? Question n. 63 How can I handle severe unhappiness and desperation? Question n. 64 What should we do about people who sleep too much? PART II: Husbands and Wives, Sharing lives and seeking Happiness Question n. 65 What is the opinion of Islam about singing and dancing in wedding ceremonies? Question n. 66 Can a man wear a gold wedding ring? Question n. 67 What is the opinion of Islam about the period between the engagement and the wedding? Question n. 68 I have psychological issues that threaten my marriage; how can I solve my problems? Question n. 69 What is the solution to the trend of excessive dowries being demanded by parents of girls? Question n. 70 Is it acceptable Islamically to set a high dowry to prevent divorce or ensure that if a divorce occurs the woman will be well-off? Question n. 71 What does Islam say about the ideal age difference between a husband and wife? Question n. 72 What are the qualities of an ideal father and an ideal mother? Question n. 73 What is the role of motherhood in society and religion? Question n. 74 How do I deal with an ungrateful and frequently absent husband? Question n. 75 Should I ask my imprisoned husband to divorce me so I could marry another since we cannot be together and he cannot provide for our family? Question n. 76 How can the poor overcome their financial problems? Question n. 77 I want to divorce my wife due to her defects which I cannot bear, but I received threats from her family.  What should I do? Question n. 78 Should a man go against the wishes of his sick wife and marry another to satisfy his needs and desires? Question n. 79 How can we solve the problem of poor relations with in-laws? Question n. 80 What is the meaning of this verse “Men are the guardians of women”? Many men take it as an excuse to impose unjust control on their women. Question n. 81 If a person helps to arrange a marriage, is he/she responsible for problems that happen in the marriage? Question n. 82 My husband shows no interest in discussing things with me or listening to me and it makes me very unhappy; what should I do? Question n. 83 I feel my wife neglects me now that we have a child. Question n. 84 My wife used to be religious but became materialistic, so I tried to force her to correct her behavior and instead things only got worse; what should I do? Question n. 85 What is the opinion of Islam about birth control? Question n. 86 My in-laws are causing marital problems for me and my wife and she struggles to balance her relationship between me and them; how can we solve this problem? Question n. 87 A neighbor couple is loud and garrulous, creating disturbance in the apartments we live in; what is the Islamic view of this behavior? Question n. 88 My husband claims ineptitude at matters of home and child-rearing as an excuse for not helping me in any of these matters; how can I change his thinking? Question n. 89 What causes insomnia and how is it treated? Question n. 90 My husband is weak and uninvolved with household affairs; how can I get him to act as a proper head of household? Question n. 91 How can one know if someone suffers insanity? Question n. 92 How can I control my temper? Question n. 93 I worry obsessively over failing in marriage, so much so that the worry itself could affect my marriage in a bad way; how can I solve my problem? Question n. 94 What are the causes of  adultery and how can they be avoided? Question n. 95 How can we adopt a child Islamically? Question n. 96 How should a young couple prepare for parenthood? Question n. 97 I feel my daughter-in-law is lazy and disrespectful of me; what should I do? Question n. 98 A great number of Muslim women suffer spinsterhood; what is the solution? Question n. 99 Why do we find prevalence of sexual corruptions even among married people and otherwise religious people? Question n. 100 Is it better for a man to propose to a woman or for a woman to propose to a man? Question n. 101 If I have divorced, can my family prevent me from choosing a second spouse by myself? Question n. 102 How should wedding ceremonies be conducted? Question n. 103 How can a wife advise a husband without upsetting him and harming the family structure? Question n. 104 How can I handle the issue of a wife whose temperament I do not like? Question n. 105 My husband does not communicate with me and I sometimes doubt his feelings for me; what can I do? Question n. 106 My husband and I are very poorly matched and have almost nothing in common and I am much more educated than he is; should we get divorced? Question n. 107 My husband does not appreciate or help me in the excessive work I have to do to care for our home and seven children and this has caused me physical problems; what should I do? Question n. 108 I suffer from forgetfulness and it upsets my wife; what should we do? Question n. 109 How can my wife and I get past our poor match and our quarrels for the sake of our children? Question n. 110 My husband’s family treats me badly because of my humble origins, even in front of guests and my husband does not defend me; what can I do? Question n. 111 Love has waned in my marriage over time, how can I get it back? Question n. 112 How can I overcome obstacles to achieve my ambitions? Question n. 113 I feel that my life is disorderly and not in control and my wife and I have no energy to solve the problem and discipline our chidlren; what can we do? Question n. 114 I want to be a successful wife. With what would you advise me to achieve my goal? Question n. 115 After a reversal of fortune, my husband became a bitter and difficult man and it is harming our whole family; what can we do? Question n. 116 What is the cure for sexual impotence, and what are its causes? Question n. 117 Is temporary marriage lawful or unlawful? If it is lawful, then why do people dislike it? And if it is unlawful, then why is it unlawful? Question n. 118 Does Islam teach its followers the practical way of practicing sexual intercourse between spouses? Question n. 119 How can Islam, by permitting polygamy, want to solve problems whereas we find more problems in polygamy? Question n. 120 My husband hates me because he wants male children from me, but Allah gives me females. What is my guilt in this? Why are men so severe? Question n. 121 I am sterile and there is no hope for a cure for me, I find this an injustice for me and my wife Question n. 122 My wife is sick. In fact, she is handicapped, and I want to get married to another wife, but I am confused as to what the consequences of doing this will be Question n. 123 My husband was handicapped after a traffic accident. How can I continue living with him until the last of my life while I am still young? Question n. 124 How to deal with a spouse who has moral or psychological defects and is not willing or able to reform? Question n. 125 What is the right behavior to adopt if one of the spouses is polite and high-minded but not religious and pays no attention to lawful or unlawful things, purity or impurity? Question n. 126 Can you advise how a young woman married to a very old man should behave to observe his rights and explain what her rights are and what she should do when her husband passes? Question n. 127 Due to marriage, I live far away from my home and family and even though my spouse and children are wonderful I need to know how to get over my constant heartache and longing for home and family. Question n. 128 Would you please show us the verdict of Islam towards the situations of the growing numbers of women who are divorcees, widows and spinsters? Question n. 129 Could you give some instructions for what remains of the life of a spinster who regrets being unjust to herself by turning down many earlier proposals? Question n. 130 A woman’s husband has died; should I not allow her temporary marriage with my husband to satisfy her needs? Question n. 131 What would you say about a woman who went to the West and adopted unIslamic shameful behaviors? Question n. 132 My wife folows a religious authority mujtahid different from what I chose, and now she asked me to follow the mujtahid she follows or to divorce her, what should I do? Question n. 133 What would you say to the wife of a heavy smoker that feels unable to quit, while the house is made to stink and the wife and children, as well as he, are at great risk for health problems and death due to the smoking? Question n. 134 Is it wrong to reveal to my daughter, upon her request, the sins of her mother that led to our divorce? Question n. 135 What is the Islamic view regarding belief in magic and paying attention to it? Question n. 136 My husband has always openly said that he does not love me and stays with me only for our children and now I do not love him anymore and am very unhappy; what should I do? Question n. 137 I would like to build my family on sound bases according to Islamic teachings. What is the guiding principle to achieve this goal? Question n. 138 How can we create tranquility and quiet time in our family life? Question n. 139 My wife and I love each other but we often quarrel and we do not know how to solve our problem. Question n. 140 My wife does not visit friends and family because she wants to take presents but they are beyond my means; what do you suggest? PART III: Children are Tomorrow’s Adults Question n. 141 What are practical methods for raising upright children? Question n. 142 What is the best way to raise children and teenagers: closely watching and managing their affairs, or trusting them and giving them freedom? Question n. 143 Would you please do us a favor by showing the stages of the cultural growth of children in the light of the Islamic view? Question n. 144 Please explain the Islamic philosophy of education so that I may compare it to modern theories of education. Question n. 145 We are exhausted in trying to raise upright children in light of all the challenges today; what should we do? Question n. 146 How is the personality of a child formed? Question n. 147 From where do children receive their culture? Question n. 148 What is your opinion about the plays of children and with what do you advise parents to play with their children? Question n. 149 I would like to know the motives for my child’s acting nervous and violent. Question n. 150 What should I do if I have a teenager who neglects prayers and is not interested in hijab? Question n. 151 How should I deal with my children being constantly quarrelsome with each other? Question n. 152 What should we do to make a child give up playing with others’ things? Question n. 153 My wife and I differ in ideas of child rearing and she acts contrary to my wishes in child rearing; what can I do? Question n. 154 I feel I treat my children unequally and love some more than others: What is the solution to this problem? Question n. 155 How can I make my child more serious in his study? Question n. 156 Why do my children not respect me? Question n. 157 What is the influence of television and computer games on our children? Question n. 158 How can I make my son leave bad friends? Question n. 159 How do I teach my child to keep in order his toys and stuff? Question n. 160 When my son became a teenager, he became disrespectful; why has this happened? Question n. 161 How can we teach children not to be envious? Question n. 162 What are the causes of envy among children and what are the solutions? Question n. 163 My son is lazy and does not like his lessons. How should I deal with him? Question n. 164 Would you please explain to me the most important bases of education? Question n. 165 What do you think about beating children? Question n. 166 I feel ashamed about my child’s bad behavior; what can I do? Question n. 167 I need advice on how to manage my children given their own unique characteristics and ambitions. Question n. 168 How can I sow the love of religion in my children so that they will adhere to it up to the last moment of their lives? Question n. 169 I s it lawful to kill one’s daughter that left the house and became a prostitute? Question n. 170 How do we cure drug addiction and how do we deal with the many problems caused by it? Question n. 171 Would you please advise me as to how to deal with my children when they make mistakes? Question n. 172 Would you please guide me as to what are the most important manners I need in educating my children? Question n. 173 Would you please give us a summary of the Islamic opinion about education? Question n. 174 How can I make my children love reading so that books and knowledge can be an important part of their interests in life? Question n. 175 How do I deal with my teenager having unIslamic behaviors and interests? Question n. 176 I feel my teenaged son is argumentative; what do I do? Question n. 177 I have wicked sons who cause problems for neighbors and passers-by; what can I do as their father? Question n. 178 How can I solve my child’s habit of lying? Question n. 179 Whenever my child commits a mistake, I beat him but this method is not working, what should I do? Question n. 180 Please explain about the harms of dealing with children severely and beating them. Question n. 181 My son is almost an adult and I worry about him getting into sinful behaviors such as relations with girls; what should I do? Question n. 182 What is the cause of children being disrespectful and disobedient? Question n. 183 How should I train my toddler in eating by  himself? Question n. 184 Could you please give me some educational recommendations for my seven-year-old son? Question n. 185 Could you please list the main point of Islamic education for the younger generations? Question n. 186 What are the concerns about putting children in day care or in the care of non muslim-maids and schools  in order for both parents to work? Question n. 187 Why my daughter chews her nails and is often absent-minded? Question n. 188 How should we address concerns about globalization of Western culture, television and Internet? Question n. 189 What is the best way to teach adolescents so that they will follow good advice? Question n. 190 How can we face the mutinous conduct of juveniles and prevent them from making friends with deviants outside the house? Question n. 191 How should we deal with a son who was once religious but left religion? Question n. 192 What are the most important education fallacies we live with due to the effects of foreign cultures? Question n. 193 Would you please show me the causes of the good and bad phenomena I find in children? Question n. 194 How can I come to accept the changing relationship with my daughter as she has become an adult? Question n. 195 My husband makes many promises to our children that he does not fulfill; how can I deal with this problem? Question n. 196 How should I deal with my toddler who asks incessant questions? Question n. 197 My teenaged son keeps a very messy room, what can I do to break him of this bad habit? Question n. 198 My son monopolizes the telephone and spends too much money on phone calls; what can I do? Question n. 199 Is it acceptable to let our children be educated by the media, schools and streets? Question n. 200 My children have bad eating habits; how can I fix this problem? Supplication -His supplication for his parents -His supplication for his children